


Until The Flowers Came

by rocket_pop



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocket_pop/pseuds/rocket_pop
Summary: Sapnap thought he was irrational, that he was loved, that he was wanted.At least, until the flowers came.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 380





	Until The Flowers Came

Sapnap wouldn't consider himself a jealous person. 

He just didn't care for the feeling. He pushed it down whenever he felt that way, it made him feel gross. He felt that he shouldn't get to dictate what others do, he shouldn't feel as though he does. He's had his fair share of partners that didn't have the same view. They became possessive over him, they treated him almost like he was an object. He's grown from that though, and he wouldn't be like that. He couldn't. 

He figures this is why his relationships work so well. With Dream, everything was easy. He didn't have to think twice before making a dumb joke that he'd be embarrassed to make with someone else. He makes him feel safe in a way he's never felt before. Dream had created a sort of safe haven for Sapnap, whether he intended to or not, and it felt so  _ nice  _ to be able to be himself. 

He remembers how he fell for Dream. 

Looking back on it, Sapnap isn't sure how he didn't expect it to happen. It was  _ Dream  _ with the stupid sense of humor, the caring nature, the late night calls that managed to make Sapnap feel special- like he was somehow a part of his world despite being so far away. Slowly but surely, the friendly feelings had shifted to something more fond; more tender. When he realizes, it was far too late for him to suppress them. So he didn't, he rested with his feelings, keeping them to himself, making it water down to a dumb secret. It was bittersweet, sure, when Dream would go on about a girl he liked, but Sapnap couldn't just drastically change what they had. Over the months he's become content with what they had. At the time, Dream was all he had. The fact that he had a strange soft spot for him wouldn't change that. He didn't let it. 

He also remembers how he was wrong about Dream. 

He honestly thought he had his friend figured out. He was a bit hard to read at times, but nothing Sapnap couldn't deal with. It had been late at night, they were playing Minecraft mindlessly at this point, Sapnap was just running around while they talked. Dream was about to leave call anyways, it was nearing 2am for him and he had to wake up early the next day. 

"Bye. I love you," Dream says, his voice quiet and scratchy. It's not the first time he's been told this, but he lets the words make his heart feel funny. 

"I love you too," he says, and he's sure that Dream can hear him smile through the words. 

Dream stays silent, not leaving the call. It feels like a shift from earlier. He waits for him to disconnect, he can hear the shallow breathing from Dream. He sounded nervous.

"Drea-"

"No I mean like," he pauses for a few seconds before speaking again, "I have a crush on you." He says, blunt as ever but Sapnap can tell it took a lot for him to say that. For a moment, it feels like everything fell into place. That Sapnap was lucky enough to have Dream like him back. 

"Oh," is all he ends up saying, and he immediately wants to slap himself. 

"Oh?" Dream echos, laughing a bit at the end. The nerves affected his voice. Suddenly Sapnap feels a bit smug. 

"I love you too." It's all Dream needs to hear to understand. He leaves the call and they end up talking about it in the morning. His heart burned, he found he liked the feeling. And for a moment, he believes soulmates truly existed. He and Dream were supposed to be together. 

\---

It's been a year since then. 

Sapnap would like to say that he's far less naive now. He doesn't believe soulmates, no. But he does believe in the love they had. It was going to work out. 

He was scared in the very beginning of their relationship. He didn't want things to change. Dream liked him back, but that doesn't mean he would forever. He knows he shouldn't be thinking like this, Dream chose him for a reason. They actually grew closer when they started dating- all the things Sapnap thought he lost were there along with so much more. He shouldn't be worried about the possibility of Dream finding someone he liked better. He shouldn't worry it's just- 

He was jealous of George. 

Sapnap saw the sparkle in his eyes whenever he talked about him, but he brushed it off- he's just excited about having another close friend. He could pretend he was happy for them, happy because they fit so well together. Their friendship moved so fast- it kind of reminded him of him and Dream when they were younger. He finds himself hovering over the join call button, he didn't want to intrude on them- not when they worked so well together. Maybe that was his first mistake. 

In a way, he wishes they never gained fame. At least not in the way they did. He knows rationally that Dream and George deserved it, they worked so hard for it. Selfishly, he wishes that he was kept alone with his thoughts. That he didn't have fan after fan mentioning how much Sapnap was like a third wheel in his own relationship. He hated having thousands of people confirm the thing he'd tried so hard to avoid. Because he wasn't stupid, he could see the way he looked at him, the softness in his tone. It was the same way Dream used to look at him. He pushed the bitter feelings aside, he didn't like facing what he was so sure was the truth. If anything were to happen, he wanted Dream to tell him instead of him overthinking. He hopes that's all this is. 

It's late at night for them, Dream is streaming while the other two sit in call with him. Sapnap gave up on using his voice, far too tired to say something only for it to be ignored. He's sat listening to his boyfriend and his friend talk- it almost sounds like flirting. 

"...thanks for the dono! And no, me and George aren't dating," Sapnap tunes back into this. To the cheeky giggle George does after he says this. 

"Unless," and Sapnap can hear George's smirk while he says this. The chat goes crazy, as expected. And maybe he's feeling sensitive that day, but he wants to cry. When did it get like this? It was like George and Dream were off in their own little world, too caught up in their joke flirting to think about Sapnap. He wants to say something before the tears make their way out but there's something stuck in his throat. He mutes himself to cough, to try and breathe, and he spits out into his hand. In his palm lies a few delicately small yellow flowers. It would have been pretty had it not been for the blood staining the petals. He's confused, and far too tired to deal with his new ability of coughing up flowers, so he disconnects and goes to bed. There's a pain in his chest as he rests in the darkness. 

He doubts they'll notice anyways. 

It's gone on like this for over a month. He tries talking to Dream or George only to be ignored, at this point Sapnap isn't sure if it's intentional or not. So he stops trying. They fit so well together, he's sick of being the one coming between them. 

So he stops talking to them, they're better off without him.

He stops streaming or making content, his voice is far too scratchy from the flowers he's thrown up anyways. It's gotten bad, he can't risk people worrying for him. 

He finds comfort in the fact that they are still the same without him there when he looks back at clips. He feels like the taste that's always left in his mouth. All the blood from the petals scraping at the inside of his throat. It's bitter, he feels bitter. 

At the end of the month Dream calls him, it's the first time either of them have tried to reach out to him. He contemplates whether or not he wants to answer it. He has a feeling he knows what it's about. He stays silent while answering. 

"Sapnap?" Dream's voice cuts through the silence. 

"Yeah?" his voice comes out hoarse and quiet, it's probably the first time he's talked in a few days. If Dream notices how wrecked he sounds, he doesn't comment on it. He doesn't care.

"I think we need to break up." 

"Is there anything I could've done?" He asks. Dream stays silent, hesitating, but it gives him his answer.

Sapnap laughs softly, resentfully, and waits for the pain to settle in, but it never does. He had expected this hadn't he? He wonders if Dream was sad about this, about what they've become. Sapnap hangs up, call him dramatic but he didn't know what to say. All that he feared had become a reality. He feels stupid for thinking Dream would try and talk to him, to think that he wondered if he was okay. 

How could he compete with George anyways? He wants to laugh, to smile away the pain in his heart but he can't. 

George is pretty, and kind, and funny.

Sapnap is annoying, and loud, and  _ sick.  _

It wasn't a fair fight to begin with. 

His head is spinning, but he stays in place feeling numb to it all. He can't sit there, not with the flowers he can feel about to come out. He makes it to the bathroom where he lets it out. He wipes away the tears streaming down his face. The flowers don't stop coming, he can't breathe and he can only focus on the pounding of his head and the burning of his lungs. 

For a second, he realizes this could be where he dies. 

On the floor of his bathroom. Alone.  _ Pathetic.  _

The last thing he sees is a blurred vision of yellow and red. Then black. 

Sapnap comes to hate how the jealousy rotted him from the inside out. He hates how it's the last thing he'll ever feel. 

**Author's Note:**

> hiii <3 sorry for not writing as much recently, I hope you guys like this! anyone reading this ily and have a great day <3


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